Check Yourself! A message to be shared with Today’s Teens. By Rev. Albert Cotton Jr., © 2010

Deuteronomy 5:16 says, “Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God commanded you, that your days may be prolonged and that it may go well with you in the land which the Lord your God gives you.” [AMP]

Matthew 15:4 says, “For God commanded, Honor your father and your mother, and, He who curses or reviles or speaks evil of or abuses or treats improperly his father or mother, let him surely come to his end by death.” [AMP]

Ephesians 6:1-3 says, “¹CHILDREN, OBEY your parents in the Lord [as His representatives], for this is just and right. ²Honor (esteem and value as precious) your father and your mother–this is the first commandment with a promise– ³That all may be well with you and that you may live long on the earth.” [AMP]

In thinking about today’s generation of young people, I felt led to write about the principle of honoring mothers and fathers.  While the three scripture references above are not the end all to be all with regard to honoring parents, they definitely serve as a great foundation for looking at how God has ordained this principle. 

Many are familiar with what has been termed the ten commandments.  Generally, these are thought to be the only commandments ever given by the Lord.  However, if you’ve done any bible reading whatsoever outside of these ten, you know there are by far many more commandments that our Heavenly Father has given.  Knowing the ten is definitely good; it’s living them and the others the best we can that brings about a blessed life.

With regard to today’s children, the commandment in question, honoring father and mother, seems to not only be seldom practiced, it is also seldom known.  This lack of knowledge can be caused by a myriad of circumstances.  It could be that they have never been exposed to the bible, church, God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit.  It could be that they have experienced these in one form or other, but the commitment is not there, thus a relationship with the Lord has not been formed, or developed.  It could be that parents themselves are not holding their children accountable to what they are learning in the word.  It could even be that parents themselves did not honor their fathers and mothers, thus they are reaping in adulthood what they have sown as children.

The scripture from Deuteronomy, says that children should honor their mothers and fathers as the “Lord” has commanded.  One thing we have to do is let our children know what God has to say about the principles we try to live by.  It is not our word; it is the word of God.  He is the One who set all of creation in motion and handed down his laws, or commands, that we should govern our lives by daily.  Man or woman in all of his or her intelligence, could not orchestrate life to operate in a decent and orderly fashion that in any way compares to what God has designed and implemented in the earth.  Therefore, it is vital to understand the origination of a thing before it can be fully accepted and appreciated, which for this commandment, as well as others, means starting with the Lord.

The result of giving this honor is a prolonged, or lengthened life.  This is how godly principles work.  There is usually a requirement and as a result of fulfilling it, a blessing is obtained.  With so many young people dying at early ages I believe this message needs to be clearly and emphatically proclaimed by every believer who knows it is right to honor one’s mother and father.  This is because in a lot of instances disobedience and in some cases down right hatred towards parents has been a part of the reason for their pre-mature deaths. 

Some may question this reasoning, but if we look at the lives of those who died because of gang-related, drug-related, sex-related, and other reasons, you are sure to find in many instances rebellion, disobedience, etc., towards parents.  Now, if those for whom this holds true had been honoring their mothers and fathers with obedience, respect, and love, they would not have been in position to have their lives extinguished in such a violent and/or senseless way.  Obedience equals blessings, while disobedience yields curses.

It is appropriate to insert the scripture above from Matthew here in light of what has just been stated.  God Himself commanded that fathers and mothers are to be honored, and to dishonor them in any way should result in death.  Wow.  This is coming from a loving Father who gave His only begotten son to the world so that none of us have to taste spiritual or physical death because He conquered them all because of His work on the cross?  As confusing as this can be, rest assured that even a child who dishonors his or her parents are still able to receive the grace of God in light of Jesus’ redemptive work on the cross if they confess their sins and believe He is faithful and just to forgive them and cleanse them (1 John 1:9).  If a child still has life in their bodies, they still have access to His mercies.

There are many ways to experience death, both literally and symbolically.  Literally, as previously stated, death has called the names of a lot of our young people.  Symbolically, and some would even say spiritually, death has reigned over a lot of our youth.  It’s evident in the choices many of them are making.  Promiscuity is high with a large incidence of STDs; drug use is high with a large rate of school failures and incarcerations; violence is running rampant, resulting in deaths or permanent disabilities.  Self-esteem amongst many of our youth is lacking or non-existent.  Self-expression has taken on the forms of tattoos and piercings and other physical as well as mental mutilations.  Music is laced with profanity, sex, drugs, and instant money.  All of these things work in concert at the hand of satan to thwart the plan of God for our lives which is to bless us and give us a hope and a future (see Jeremiah 29:11 and John 10:10) rather than curse us and cause our demise. 

As a result, many young people lack knowledge of self and they wander aimlessly from one flesh gratifying experience to the next which does nothing more than leave them feeling  empty on the inside each time.  Instead of finding their sense of self and validation in living a life for God, even when any of them remotely know anything about Him, they look to outside stimuli (people, places, things) that cause them to sink deeper and their dishonor and disrespect to go higher.  This is because they’ve attached themselves to the world instead of to God both for themselves and through their parents.

Parents are not exempted from playing their part in this equation as well.  In order for an equation to hold true, it must be balanced.  Parents must live before their children in a manner that shows for righteousness and godliness on a consistent basis.  As mentioned previously, some parents are reaping what they’ve sown in the way of dishonor toward their parents.  However, I believe even if they take a stand for what is right and reconcile themselves to the truth of their actions as children and ask God’s forgiveness, they now have a strong foundation to stand on which says to their children, “you will not dishonor me.”  If any parents are not presenting themselves in ways that position them to receive the honor God intends for them to have, they too shall reap what they’ve sown.

Many children come from environments and experiences that have literally shut them down when it comes to their parents or other loved ones and even God.  Many have been hurt in some way either physically, mentally, or even spiritually.  However, no matter how negative a person’s experiences have been, they are still held accountable to live out the truth.  They must come to grips with the fact that their current behavior is directly linked to whatever they have had to endure.  To overcome it takes more than just an “I’m sorry,” it takes communication with the Father that involves a plea for strength and help to forgive, move on, and even show love to them that have been abusive.  It is critical that we understand the commands of God are never to be put on hold just because we have been through some horrific experiences that have left us battered and bruised.  It is therefore our responsibility regardless of age to ensure we are obedient to God and hold Him in higher regard than our hurts and pains.  Doing this will in fact cause a shift in us called faith that He will respond to with His favor.

If our children honor their mothers and fathers and obey them, then it would seem there would be little room for them to engage in the previously mentioned negative acts, thus leaving themselves in position to be blessed by God with a joy and zeal for life that only He can give.  Thus they would avoid death or a “death-like” existence.  This is not to say that children will be completely perfect in the sense of not satisfying any curiosities of their fleish, however, if the regard they hold their parents or guardians in is high, they will not have enough room to add much else to a place of priority in their lives.

The scripture from Ephesians shows again the benefit of honoring one’s father and mother.  Doing so makes life “well” with a person and promotes long life.  Today’s teens, need to take a long hard look at God and His command to hold fathers and mothers in high regard regardless if they are godly parents or not.  The command does not give a qualifier that says it is okay to not honor them if they are not godly, or are living without regard to God, or if they have been abusive.  It simply says to honor. 

If our children are going to be all that God created them to be, they have to get obedience and honor rooted deep down on the inside of them.  All of the soul-ties they’ve established to the things of this world have to be broken and replaced with ties to their parents, which will thus tie them to the Lord.  This will bring pleasure to Him and cause His grace and favor to abound in their lives.  As a result, there will be fewer deaths and more graduations; decreased promiscuity and a better sense of self-worth; less drug use and more children high on life; less living like the world and more living for God who made the world and will cause them to be positioned to fulfill their destiny. 

It is time for our youth to check themselves against the word of God instead of just hoping they will get it sooner or later.  It is up to use to live the word, speak the word, and honor God who gave the word which is life to us who believe.  We have to raise the standard of our honor and obedience to God as parents so that we will experience blessings and not curses (see Deuteronomy 28) where our children are concerned and in our lives overall.  Obedience yields a harvest in our lives that will not run out and leave us to die, however, disobedience causes a famine that leaves us physically and spiritually starved and open for death to come in (see Isaiah 1:19-20).

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